Independence is a skill that not everyone is born with. Of course, everyone has to become somewhat independent as they grow up towards adulthood, but it’s far easier for some people to embrace their independence than others. Avoiding independence as an adult creates problems in many different areas of your life, especially as you enter into business and romantic relationships. Learning to be your own strongest supporter is essential to success in any area of your life.
It can be difficult for some people to realize that they, themselves, are responsible for any and all occurrences in their life. The choices you make structure your life. Your decisions build your direction. Being realistic about this is healthy and necessary. If you know you can rely on, and take total care of yourself, you can accomplish anything.
Learning to stand on our own two feet isn’t stating that dependence is unattractive or undesirable. It is healthy to be able to trust others. What you don’t want to do is place your potential for happiness in someone else’s hands, or under someone else’s control. You want to form your own opinions about who you are, not rely on someone else’s treatment of you to tell you whether you are a good person. That is called co-dependence and it is an unhealthy relationship state that plagues many adults today.
When you become overly dependent on someone, or codependent, you become a burden. There are some personality types that may enjoy having a codependent relationship – but these are not healthy personalities, and they do not result in healthy relationships.
You must learn to trust your own judgment, make your own decisions, and not second guess yourself. There is a great strength in being able to decide for yourself and not have to rely on anyone else for validation of the decisions you make. When you do this, you build healthy self-esteem, you become a stronger person, and you become the type of person that others look up to.
One of the healthiest things you can do is learn to be by yourself and enjoy your own company. Don’t be afraid to go to a restaurant, art gallery, or movie alone. Don’t be afraid to go anywhere alone! Learn to appreciate being by yourself, even if you’re surrounded by people. Take walks alone. Go to the park alone and read a book. Go to the beach alone and listen to the waves. Learn to make your own life an adventure, independent of anyone else.
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